quite sure a bad mommy.

my day yesterday didn't start out well. i hardly got any sleep...i kept getting cramp after cramp...not labor though. (thank goodness). i got up with ryan and proceeded to start our day...everything was quite normal other than i felt horrible and sleepy. i decided...i am going to take a day off...i am going to let ry have a free day and try to relax. ryan was having a great free day...she loves playing in her room and she is content while doing so.

we take a nap. i decided i would let her take one with me which is rare...but she wasn't feeling 100% either. we fell asleep in no time. however, her normal 2 1/2 hr nap i was hoping for came to a brisk holt when she woke up an 1 1/2 hours later. we get up...she wants to call daddy since 'daddy at work'. we call. he comes home for lunch. everything seems normal...except...i am feeling miserable, sleepy, worn-out...ryan isn't feeling well...we had some diapers that weren't good news. daddy leaves...we go back to life.

i hear ryan get up on the chair at the table. this is where her rocks are kept. i didn't think much. she goes to her room. she comes out not necessarily crying but whining. she has her right hand in her mouth and holding an object in the left. i look closer. IT'S A SHAVING RAZOR. i gasp slightly and take it away then she went crazy. i looked closer...there is blood everywhere. i pick her up calmly and take her to the kitchen while in my head i am kicking myself...yelling....ya know...being crazy in there. i grab a paper towel and run cool water and start wiping the blood to find out where the blood is running out of her little body. found it...her right pointer and middle fingers.

i try to press the cloth on her fingers as she is fighting me. fighting hard mind you while spilling blood curdling screams out of her mouth. she started to wave her hands and plop plop plop...little circles of blood on the counter top. i call tucker at work and say "ry cut herself...come home now!" with some panic...(yep, the roads weren't good either). i decided to just hold her till he gets there while warm tears are falling down my face. i have blood on my face, there is blood all over her...on the counter...bloody paper towels...looked like war in our house when daddy walks in.

fortunately, my husband is a sweet husband and doesn't yell at me when accidents happen. he can already tell i am beating myself up. i have him hold her down...since i am 36 weeks pregnant and wider than triple-wide trailer...finally i see it...she took some skin off...i clean it out and put some backyardigan band-aids on her fingers. i gave her tylenol too. poor little girl. tucker gets cloths out and cleaner and gets all the blood up except for what is all over us. tucker hugs me and tells me accidents happen and it's just her finger and fingers bleed quite a bit.....even though i know that...it was entirely preventable. tucker left and i sat in the chair quietly crying holding her. i racked my brain on how to make her feel better.

i put horton hears a who on for her and she lays down. here are the some pics and this is after a bunch was cleaned up but i didn't want to press anything...i felt too bad.

this is the blood on the face.

ellie was a blessing throughout the whole ordeal!!

look at her shirt...yep, ruined.

after horton, i tried giving her a warm bath (she LOVES baths). the warm water must've stung her little fingers so i quickly washed all the blood out of her hair and off her body. we get out and i find some clothes for her. we cuddled on the couch and watched the end of oprah. when ryan cuddles...there is something going on. next thing i know...tucker is home and we were both asleep on the couch. ryan had a second nap. but she woke up in such a HAPPY mood. :D i little relief. she ate well and wanted her "stickers" off her fingers. she found a flashlight and began playing like nothing ever happened. tucker told me to take the rest of the night off...i guess he could the day wore me. i took a shower. a much needed shower. i got out and tucker and ryan had made tents and had flashlights playing in them. i went to bed.

i am sure one asks "where did she get the razor in the first place?" well, let me tell. we received this package with offers in it from Gillette. it had sample body wash, shampoo, shaving cream, and a packaged razor. we left the razor on the kitchen table and didn't think much about it till yesterday when ryan almost chopped her fingers off. she got the razor and it had a plastic front and cardboard back....she opened it in her room. little did i know she could do that...then wait a minute...here goes another story....

a couple days before that....ry and i went to k-mart...i got some tylenol pm for backache. i have this habit of coming home...taking things out of the bag and then putting them away. well, i took everything out...but i realized it was almost time for tucker to come home from work so i was scurrying around the kitchen for food for him....little girl got the tylenol bottle...removed it from the box...popped it open and opened the foil. meanwhile...i am in the kitchen and banging pots...things of the nature. i check on her and i run to her....she starts spitting...i kept saying "ryan spit"....over and over...she ate a 1/4 and as i put my hand out she threw up EVERYWHERE. bath time. i get her in the bath and call poison control and tucker to tell him come home. poison control said it was nothing....no worries. i cried. she slept.

so, i have realized that RYAN...is clever. i have to be even more aware of EVERYTHING!! even things i don't think she could ever figure out. but 2 year olds are way smarter than i ever thought!